There are divorce advice articles specifically for men and divorce advice articles specifically for women. This is divorce advice for anyone thinking about divorce. The challenges of divorce can seem overwhelming. In addition to losing a spouse, you may be forced to find new living arrangements. You may or may not end up living with your children and having them be a part of your daily life. There are financial demands involved in supporting two households. In addition to the real sense of loss, it can be challenging to struggle with feelings of resentment, particularly if the divorce was not your idea. Getting through this tough phase of life can be a trial for the most well-adjusted of individuals. Sometimes it is a good idea to take a breath and prepare yourself for the smart decision-making that you will need to rely on in the coming weeks and months. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
- Find the right lawyer. You need a local attorney who is familiar with the issues that are forefront in your mind. Finding someone you trust will give you the reassurance that things are going as well as possible.
- Reconfigure your feelings about alimony. If you are charged with paying spousal support, the court likely determined that your former spouse is entitled to it based on your history together and current circumstances. While it may not be fun to fork over money to your ex, if it is part of the degree, get over your resistance to the idea and enjoy the tax advantages. On the other hand, if your former spouse is required to pay spousal support to you, do not be too proud to accept it. Again, court rulings related to spousal support are based upon the financial history you share. In many cases, men deserve and require the support in order to move forward.
- Put aside frustrations over child support. While nobody likes to write out a check to a former partner, accept the fact that you have certain responsibilities in the eyes of the law, and giving begrudgingly will hurt only you. Many men believe their child support checks are paying for their exes to go on elaborate vacations or to live a life of luxury, while the children never see the money. Unfortunately, you cannot request receipts for other proof that your child support payments are going where you think they should. If this is a genuine concern for you, you may be able to design unique support agreements that allow you to make direct payments to child care providers, medical facilities, and so forth. Even so, it is likely that some amount of child support will go directly to your former spouse.
- Agree to an equal division of property. In California, it is the law, so avoid playing games with stock options, bonuses, retirement benefits, or other assets. Be up-front and save yourself the time and expense of a dirty fight. On the other hand, do not be too quick to hand over more than your ex’s fair share. While you may have spent many years providing for your ex, he or she is no longer your responsibility, and you do not have to give up everything. Pick up your broken heart and move on, and keep enough of what is rightfully yours to be able to start over somewhere else.
- Remember that the more you agree on with your ex, the less the financial cost of the divorce. Divorces can be costly with some running in excess of $100,000. So communicate and treat your former spouse with respect.
Divorce Advice – Getting it Right
Every divorce is different, and every divorce client at Beck Law P.C., in Santa Rosa gets the personalized attention necessary to ensure the best possible outcomes. If you live in Mendocino County, Sonoma County or Lake County California, contact us in Santa Rosa today to discuss your situation.