Has Your Broken Heart Led You to Divorce?
What do you think leads to divorce in America? If you listen to sociologists, there are some key events and explanations people give for what pushed them to the decision. When you boil it down, though, it seems it may all come down to a broken heart.
What Studies Reveal
In a nationwide study conducted by renowned sociologists Amato and Previti, respondents answered open-ended questions about the cause of their divorces, and those responses were categorized into four groups:
- Loss of compatibility;
- Drug or alcohol abuse;
- Growing in different directions.
In another study, researchers asked people to indicate which of nine major factors led to divorce. The top three reasons cited included:
- Lacking commitment;
- Excessive conflict;
Breaking it down into more detail, respondents noted a variety of issues within their relationships, which easily slide into the aforementioned categories. For instance, a number of those surveyed indicated that they had simply married too young, and discovered that they had little in common as they matured into their late 20s and early 30s. Likewise, older couples complain of drifting apart as they shift from busy family life to empty nesting.
Some couples found that decisions related to whether or not to have children led to serious conflicts. As couples discover that their key aspirations for life ahead differ, it can lead to unmanageable dissonance.
Who is to Blame For Your Broken Heart?
Not surprisingly, more people blamed their spouse for the demise of the relationship than themselves. About a third of people said their partner was responsible for marital problems, and three-fourths believed their ex should have put more effort into the marriage. Many claimed to have tried to salvage what they could through counseling or other means, but that their former spouses pushed things until they were simply intolerable. Topping the list as the final straw in one survey, the following infractions were cited:
- Domestic violence;
- Drug or alcohol addiction.
There are Two People Here
Of course, a marriage is between two people, and both can contribute to the deterioration of a relationship to some degree. Experts recommend that couples considering marriage take concrete steps to prepare for a lifetime together, and that requires some in-depth and sometimes difficult conversations. For those happily married at the moment, it is important to avoid taking your satisfying relationship for granted. Work on things, keep talking, have fun together, and remember that conflict is a part of all relationships. Healthy relationships are founded on respect and fair rules, and when those fall by the wayside, trouble and a broken heart is likely ahead.
When Divorce is Inevitable
Whatever the reason for you broken heart, if you have determined that you simply have to cut your losses and move on, the experienced family law attorneys team at Beck Law P.C., in Santa Rosa can help. If you live in Mendocino County, Lake County, or Sonoma County, contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation.