Secretly Planning Your Divorce Arrangements?
If you have been thinking about filing for divorce, there may be some pretty significant reasons to keep your divorce arrangements to yourself. Remember, you are no longer on the same team, so strategizing with your own best interests in mind may be the best thing you can do for yourself, your kids, and your future. Finding a local divorce attorney who can keep your confidence may be extremely helpful.
Reasons You May Want to Keep Your Divorce Arrangements Mum
While in some circumstances there is no problem with discussing the situation with your spouse openly and honestly, in particular cases, it is just not a good idea. For example:
- If you are afraid your spouse will respond to your decision violently;
- If you think your spouse may try to drain accounts or hide assets;
- If your spouse might try to charge up all of your credit cards or make other lavish purchases.
Moving Forward With Stealth
If this is what you really want to do, delve in headfirst. Do not tiptoe around it; once the decision is made, pull out all the stops and start making your divorce arrangements,
As you begin to research ideas to get a plan in motion, recognize the fact that your Internet searches can be tracked. If you are going to be using your home computer, be sure to clear your search queries in the browser history. A better idea might be to use a computer in a public library, if possible.
In terms of your behavior, keep things as normal as possible. Do not make sudden changes that may give rise to suspicion.
Financial independence is going to be crucial, particularly if you are escaping an abusive situation. Find ways to gradually build up a stash so that it will not be noticeable. At the same time, figure out how you are going to survive in the immediate future. If you have not worked outside the home in a while, make an inventory of your skills and interests, and consider making some employment contacts. If you are the breadwinner of the family, start thinking about how assets will need to be split. California is a community property state, so you cannot leave your spouse high and dry. What are you willing to part with?
If you have joint accounts, cancel them and initiate your own personal accounts so your spouse cannot sabotage joint holdings.
Keep your divorce arrangements to yourself as much as possible. While it may be tempting to confide in friends or family, do so only if you are certain they can keep your secret. Above all, do not let your children in on your plans, particularly if they are small. It is difficult for kids to hold on to secrets, and is an unnecessary burden for them to bear.
Figure out living arrangements. Where will you go, and how will you get there? If you do not want your spouse to have access to you, it will be important to create some distance. When the time to work out the divorce does arrive, have your divorce attorney handle the contacts.
Get Going Now
If your decision is made, then now is the time to put your divorce arrangements into action. At Beck Law P.C., we will support you with confidential, efficient legal representation. If you live in Sonoma County, Mendocino County, or Lake County California, contact our Santa Rosa office today to schedule a consultation.